Top 10 things Santa Claus could do to be helpful

1. Grant card check to all the reindeer and the elves so they could elect a union.

2. Volunteer to pull his own weight on the sleigh and let Rudolph drive once in a while.

3. Let Ms. Claus have equal pay and equal time listening to the kiddies' holiday wishes.

4. A free one-way sleigh ride home for every U.S. soldier in Iraq, Afghanistan, the Persian Gulf, South Korea, Bosnia, etc.

5. A “Get out of jail free” card for Mumia Abu-Jamal.

6. For a change, let the elves decide who’s been naughty and who’s been nice.

7. If you’ve been naughty, let the elves take away those multimillion dollar bonuses. ...

8. ... And use them to buy stuff for all the people around the world who’ve been robbed, just for starters.

9. If you’ve been nice, the elves will give you a union card so that you can organize to fight for your rights, too.

10. If you’ve been very nice, Santa will rest after the holidays so he can give you all free rides to Washington D.C. for a march for jobs and health care in the spring.

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